


The Raven Haired Insomniac and His Swain

by Woebegon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Adorable Armin Arlert, Bottom Armin Arlert, Bottom Eren Yeager, Bottom Jean, Bottom Jean Kirstein, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Eren Is Vegan, Gay Male Character, Gay Ymir (Shingeki no Kyojin), Gender-Neutral Hange Zoë, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Has PTSD, M/M, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Sasha Being Sasha, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Top Erwin Smith, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Top Marco Bott, Why Did I Write This?, Wow why have i done this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-02-10 00:02:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12899700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woebegon/pseuds/Woebegon
Summary: Eren, freshman, finds himself falling for a junior at his college. He's scared to talk about it with anyone, having dealt with rejection from his father in the past. One day Eren and Levi meet each other at an unexpected location and just click.





	1. Eren

Ymir laughed maniacally as she slammed down a Draw Four Wild Card in the middle of the table. Her brown hair framed her slightly freckled face perfectly and her brown eyes were filled with the fun rage Uno fills everyone with.

“Shit!” Jean screamed, slamming a fist on the table in front of him. His dirty blond hair sat disheveled atop his head, his long face drawn with frustration.

“Jean, don’t yell,” Marco said quietly. Him being the innocent one of the group, and the fact that he had freckles earned him the nickname of Freckled Jesus.

“Yeah, save it for when Marco’s in you,” Eren snorted. His blue turquoise eyes shone with mischief and satisfaction from getting a reaction out of Jean.

“I swear to God, Jaeger, I’ll kick your ass!” Jean said, standing up, bumping the table.

“Oh come on, Eren! Are your rude comments really necessary?” Armin asked, his blond hair tied up in a small bun on the back of his head.

“Can we just get back to the game?” Christa said quietly. Ymir had her arm wrapped tightly around the smaller blonde protectively. Sasha scoffed and put her arm around Christa too, leaning her weight against the smaller girl.

“How about we stop playing and eat, because I’m literally starving,” Sasha said, her hair so frizzy it made almost a halo around her head. Sasha’s boyfriend Connie jumped up on a chair and raised his hand into the air. 

“I declare,” the bald headed jokester began. “That we, the people, stand together and continue playing this horrible card game, while snacking on these mini sandwiches a friend made for me!”

Connie ran to the fridge and returned with a platter of mini sandwiches shaped like hearts, filled with pastrami, cheese, lettuce, mayo, and mustard. Sasha squealed and ran over to Connie. 

“Food!” she screamed, lunging at him. Reiner, a blond braun caught her mid-air and held her back before she could trample her boyfriend. “Bertholdt!” Reiner cried as the girl pounded on his back with her fists. “A little help!”

Reiner’s best friend, Bertholdt, grabbed the girl from behind and set her down on the floor, making sure to keep her away from the sandwiches.

“O-okay Sasha,” Connie gulped, holding the sandwiches protectively. “How about you let everyone get a sandwich first, and you take the leftovers?”

Sasha fake frowned and sighed. “I suppose that’s alright.”

Everyone cheered at Sasha’s self control, making her smile. She curtsied dramatically and wiped away fake tears. “Thank you all so much! All I want is world peace!”

Everyone laughed and Eren threw tomato at her playfully. She caught it in her mouth, before realizing what it was and immediately spit it out. Laughter erupted even louder as Sasha wiped off her tongue with her hands.

“You are EVIL!” She screamed at Eren, laughing.

As Reiner was just about to get everyone to play Jenga, there was knocking at the front door.

“NOSE GOES!” Everyone shouted simultaneously, touching their nose with their index fingers… Except for Eren. Eren groaned and stood up from the table and walked over to the door.

“You guys suck. Every single time something like this happens you pick a new method to get me to answer the door.” Eren sighed. He opened the door to reveal a short man with porcelain skin, his silver eyes glaring into Eren’s. He wore a black hoodie, black sweatpants, and had a septum piercing, and snake bite lip piercings. His undercut-hair was raven coloured and was styled, even though it was past midnight.

“Can I help you?” Eren said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, you can. Tell you and your dumbass friends to shut the fuck up. There are more people here than just you. Just because this is your first night in college and woopee, your mom isn’t here to babysit you, does not give you the right to fuck everyone else over. Got that, brat?”

Eren stared at the man, wide eyed. Connie and Sasha could be heard in the back of the room, giggling uncontrollably.

English? What’s English? Eren had lost all speaking skills and could only nod in response.

‘This man,’ Eren thought, as the shorter continued lecturing them about consideration. ‘Is one giant asshole. But he’s so pretty…’

“God, it’s two in the fucking morning…” The man mumbled as he stalked off, a dangerous aura surrounding him.

Eren looked out the door, and watching the shorter man walk off, his eyes glued to his ass.

‘Wow,’ Eren thought, biting his lip as the man walked away.

The shorter man stopped in his tracks and turned, his usual scowl plastered on his face.

“What do you want? An ass beating?” He snarled, making Eren jump. Eren quickly retracted back into the dorm and shut the door.

When Eren turned around, everyone was getting ready to leave. People were putting on their jackets and saying their farewells. He quickly moved through the people and grabbed his own jacket, looking for his dorm mate, Armin.

“Armin,” Eren said to the blond, shoving his wallet into his jacket pocket. “You have your keycard, right?” Armin turned with a look of confusion on his face.

“No…” He replied. “I told you to bring yours, remember?”

Eren put his head in his hands. “Maybe the automatic lock didn’t lock this time?” He asked, hopefully.

Armin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “That is a very small possibility. Let’s go see is the janitor is still working, maybe he has a master keycard or something.”

“Yes, because Mr. Jinn would be working at two in the morning.”

“Eren, this is your fault, so don’t sass me, okay? Besides, that’s all we can do for now.”

Eren nodded and sighed. “Alright, let’s go hunt for Jinn.”

They said their goodbyes to their friends before leaving and walking throughout the college’s campus, hoping to run into a janitor.


	2. Eren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> crappy chapter just so i can make it better later on. setting up some stuff i guess you could say.

As Armin and Eren wandered the halls aimlessly, Eren chewed on his thumb, recalling his encounter with the short, vulgar man from earlier.

 _Just because this is your first night in college and,_ woopee _, your mom isn’t here to babysit you, does not give you the right to fuck everyone else over,_ the man’s words echoed in Eren’s mind. After wandering for so long, they had finally made it outside, only streetlamps lighting the outer-school campus.

 _‘I didn’t think we were being all that loud… It was probably Ymir. Goddammit Ymir.’_ Eren sighed and rubbed his hands together, breathing on them in hopes of warming them up.

“‘S cold,” Eren said, shivering.

Armin nodded. “I don’t think Mr. Jinn is here. We should head back.”

Eren nodded too and turned around, the two of them walking back together. Eren pulled out his phone and loaded up a game, disappointed that he’d have to sleep on an uncomfortable couch on his first night away from home. Away from his problems. Away from Dad. Armin looked over at Eren’s phone and giggled.

“Really Eren? Animal Crossing Pocket Camp?”

“Hey, it’s fun, okay?”

Armin laughed and shook his head.

“Do you think any of our friends would let us sleep in their dorms tonight?”

“I don’t really know. Maybe Connie would let us bunk up with him. Pretty sure I heard him say he got stuck in a dorm with some senior since everyone else had dorm mates. I’m sure he’d be cool with it though,” Eren said, sighing.

 _‘First day here and I’m already screwed without my mom,’_ he thought, chuckling.

When they got back to the dorms, they walked around a bit, looking for Connie’s room number; dorm 26.

“Hey,” Eren heard a voice say. It was familiar. Where had he heard it? When he looked up he immediately blushed. _The man._

He looked the same; annoyed, deadpan, ticked off. But so pretty at the same time…

Eren snapped out of his mini trance and cleared his throat.

“Uh-umm yeah, we got locked out of our room - _dorm -_ room,” Eren said, cringing at how awkward he was.

The man just nodded. He had his hands in his pockets, Eren noticed, and they fidgeted along with his leg, which seemed to uncontrollably wiggle.

“I can help, brat, but you have to be quiet after ten from now on, understand?”

“Yes, please, sir. Thank you!” Armin replied for Eren, noticing his friend’s awkwardness. The man nodded again and took three paper clips out of his pocket.

“Which room is yours? I don’t have all night.”

Armin led the man to their room while Eren trailed behind to study the man. He seemed to be maybe five foot, four inches, probably shorter. He also seemed to have dyed hair, since when the light hit his hair just correctly, you could see a glint of blue in his raven coloured hair.

As they walked, Armin went on thanking the short man for helping them, and the man kept walking and acted like Armin didn’t exist. He couldn’t help but notice out of the corner of his eye that the boy behind him was staring intently at his hair.

“Do you want me to cut a lock of it off for you, Brat?” Levi said, not turning around. Eren’s eyes widened and he choked a bit on his own spit.

‘Wha-what? No I just thought the blue was cool, I, uhh sorry,” Eren’s cheeks blossomed a bright pink and he internally cursed himself.

 _‘You idiot,’_ Eren thought. _‘Smooth. Really fucking smooth.’_

“Whatever,” he said, continuing onward. When they got to their room, Levi stuck one his keycard in the slot and began wiggling the doorknob and fidgeting the lock box. Armin thanked him continuously.

“Thank you… What’s your name?”

The man didn’t say anything and continued working on the lock. When a little green light flashed on the electronic lock, he turned the doorknob and pushed open the door for them.

“Uhm one second, wait out here,” Eren said, running into his dorm quickly. He looked around and found a plate of cookies he had baked with his mom on his last night in that house on the counter. He grabbed them and ran back to the door.

“Here,” he said, handing the plate of cookies to the man, looking down at the floor as he did so. The man looked a bit shocked, and then his normal expression revealed itself once more. He hesitantly took the plate of cookies.

“Levi,” he said, turning on his heel. “My name is Levi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> point out mistakes and stuff. also visit fightforthenet.com. this is future me. i copy and pasted the wrong thing, not realizing, and the entire chapter three deleted. it'll take me a couple of says to rewrite it. sorry.


	3. Levi

Levi sighed and closed his apartment door, setting his keys down on a desk next to his bed. He set the cookies down on the desk too. He them sat down at his desk chair and stared at the delicious treats. His right leg was twitching, as well as his right hand.

 _‘Levi, eat,’_ he told himself, his stomach growling from lack of food. _‘You aren’t going to get any better if you don’t eat.’_

The raven haired man groaned and rested his elbows on the desk, putting his head in his hands.

 _‘Eat. Please,’_ his mind begged. A part of him, deep down, refused, as though it was seeking destruction.

Levi slammed his hands down on his desk and stood up. He put one hand on his hip and rested the other on the side of his face.

 _‘Why can’t you just be normal?’_ He breathed heavily and groaned in agony as the pain in his stomach grew. It was a mix of a searing pain and a stabbing pain, like a knot is his stomach, the pain reminding him of how weak he felt.

 _‘Here,’_ a familiar voice replayed in his head. He remembered the brown haired boy handing the plate of cookies to him, his eyes concentrating on the floor. He remembered the slight blush on the boys nose and cheeks all too well.

 _‘Fine, brat,’_ Levi thought, taking the plastic wrap off of the plate. He hesitantly picked up a cookie, his hand shaking. He slowly took a small bite, a chocolate chip bursting with flavour on his tongue. His expression softened as he swallowed, the relieving feeling, surprisingly, already settling over his body. Levi backed up and sat cross legged on his bed, leaning against the wall, staring at a small lamp in the corner of the room illuminating his face.

He took out his phone as he took another small bite of the cookie. He went to music and pressed shuffle, setting it down beside him as a song began to play softly. He sighed contently when he realized that the song that was playing was _Northern Downpour,_ by Panic! At the Disco. He didn’t listen to much of their music, but this song spoke to him in a way most other music couldn’t.

He closed his eyes as he listened to the slow lyrics.

He was slowly lulled to sleep by the calm song.

***

Levi’s eyes opened and he gasped, breathing heavily. He looked around wildly, grasping his bed sheets.

 _“Mom?”_ He asked, desperate for a reply.

His breaths slowed and became shaky as he covered his face with his clammy hands. _‘Dream,’_ he thought, trying to calm himself. _‘Calm down, it was just a dream.’_ He reached for his phone and paused the soft music emitting from it. He tossed it to the end of his bed.

As he tried to regulate his shaky breaths he got off his bed and grabbed a water bottle from beside his bed. He struggled to open it, his hands trembling.

“God _dammit_ ,” he growled, frustrated. He set the water bottle down on his nightstand and looked at a clock on the wall, above the head of his bed. It read 3:36 A.M.

He chuckled sadly and covered his face with his clammy hands. _There is virtually no point in sleeping anymore,_ he thought as he got up and walked over to his desk. He grabbed a little bottle and opened it, taking two of the small caffeine tablets into the palm of his hand. He snatched the water bottle off of his nightstand, popped the pills into his mouth and opened the water a bit easier now, taking a drink to help the tablets down his throat.

He sighed before setting the water and pill bottle down on the desk and sitting down on the floor, cross legged. He closed his eyes and slowly breathed, holding it for a little while, before exhaling.

 _‘Come on Levi, breathe. You’re okay. You’re okay,”_ he reassured himself.

After he regulated his breathing, he got up deliberately and looked at his desk. The plate of cookies sat there, the same place as before. He looked at them dejectedly before covering them with the plastic wrap and putting them in the mini fridge in the corner of his room.

He then grabbed the duster from under his bed and began dusting various items in his room.

When it finally turned six o’clock A.M. he had dusted, swept, and cleaned the kitchen that was so small that it was beyond depressing.

As he began getting ready for his monthly sunday plans, a scene played on repeat in his mind, a scene he would never forget. A scene that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He couldn’t help but beat himself up over it.

 _‘It’s all your fault,’_ he told himself. _‘It’s your fault that mom died.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah Levi killed his mom blah blah blah. i'm not too proud of this chapter. next chapter is turning out nicely, though. i needed this chapter to segway into Eren and Levi's next encounter so :/


	4. Eren

“..en… Eren! Eren wake up! I’ve been trying to get you up for the past fifteen minutes!”

Eren groaned and covered his face with a pillow.

“Ten more minutes..” he moaned groggily. Armin ripped the pillow away from his face and turned on the light hanging from the ceiling.

“ _Nooo…”_ Eren said softly, yawning.

“Eren, come on. You need to get ready. We have plans in like twenty minutes, and we need to be on the road in ten.”

Eren sighed and covered his face. He groaned as he rubbed his eyes, trying to remember his dream. He remembered a lot of moaning…

He chuckled. Last time he had a wet dream it was him and Jim Carrey, and the entire time Jim Carrey was quoting Ace Ventura lines… He was in an interesting place in his life.

“ _Up!”_ Armin said sharply, pulling off the blanket that covered Eren. Eren squeaked and got up, shirtless, running over to his dresser. Goosebumps appeared on his arms, the cold air making the short hairs stand on end.

“ _Armin!_ ” Eren growled, quickly putting on a turquoise short sleeved shirt. “Why do you keep it so damn cold in here?!”

Armin shrugged as he wrapped a navy blue scarf around his neck.

“You probably forgot to turn on the heater last night. Come on, get dressed. We need to leave. They’re gonna get there before us.”

“ _Fine._ Did Bertholdt and Reiner mention if they can make it?” Eren asked as he pulled on a pair of black jeans.

“Can’t,” Armin said as he played with his hair, trying to part it perfectly. “Bertholdt got sick last night and Reiner’s been taking care of him, so doesn’t want to infect us.”

Eren watched as Armin played with his hair in a mirror for a few seconds before asking, “Dude, this isn’t a date… It’s just friends… Are you expecting someone to be where we’re going?” He laughed to himself as he grabbed his MacBook from under his bed.

Armin stiffened before turning and walking towards the door. “N-no, I just feel like I should look decent going out. I don’t want to look like I came out of a sewer or something.”

Eren rolled his eyes and met Armin at the door, grabbing a warm sweatshirt from a pile of clothes by the door. Eren pulled the sweatshirt over his head as they walked out of the door and he grabbed his car keys off of a small table next to the doorway, and saw their keycards, right next to each other. He hesitated as he went to pick his up.

 _‘If I leave it, would Levi help us get in again? Don’t be dumb, Eren,’_ Eren thought, tempted to “forget” one of the keycards… He shook his head and snatched up his keycard, shoving it in his pocket. When the door closed, the sound of the door locking itself emanated from the bulky box attached to the door.

Armin chuckled as he began down the hall. “I can’t believe we forgot the keycard yesterday… How embarrassing…”

***

Eren smiled when they approached the small cafe. It was called The Rose. Inside smelled like roasted coffee beans and vanilla. It was small and home-y with few customers, excluding Eren’s group of friends. Eren looked over to see them all sitting there, talking among themselves. It was a perfect place to have Sunday coffee with his friends.

“Sasha, two muffins is more than enough,” Connie said, clearly agitated.

“But I can _eat_ five! Jean, get me five, I’ll pay you back.”

Jean pinched the bridge of his nose, the barista in front of him looking confused.

“Uhm, will it be two or five muffins, sir?” The barista asked.

As the three of them bickered, Eren turned to Armin.

“Hey,” Eren said tapping Armin’s shoulder lightly, his MacBook in his arms. “I’m gonna go sit down and work on my book. Could you order me a gingerbread latte?”

“Eren, it’s September. Pumpkin is in.”

“Ew, I hate pumpkin. Fine, just get me any coffee with extra vanilla creamer, please?”

“Of course!”

“Thanks.” Eren turned and walked to the table with his friends. “Hey guys!”

“Hi, Eren!” Marco and Christa said. They were both playing Goat Simulator on their phones. Ymir’s arm rested lazily around Christa’s shoulders.

“Aha! I just unlocked Tall Goat!” Christa said quietly, smiling.

“Really?! I’ve been trying to get Tall Goat for the longest time!”

“You guys are both children,” Ymir said, a slight smile threatening to form on her lips.

Eren sat down next to Marco and watched as he led the goat around Goatville, destroying anything and everything in his path. They both laughed when his goat’s tongue attached to a person, and they dragged him around.

A few minutes later, Jean walked up, holding two drinks. Connie followed behind him, helping Sasha carry her five muffins, along with two drinks.

“Beat it, asshole,” Jean said to Eren. Eren chuckled and looked up at him.

“Why? Wanna sit next to your boyfriend? Well, _by all means…_ ”

“Eren, unnecessary comments...” Armin said as he walked up with their drinks. Eren glared at Jean, who was glaring back. Marco was beet red with embarrassment.

He got up and moved to the other side of the table, sliding his MacBook across the table too, and sat next to Armin. He opened it and stared at the document he was working on. He leaned back in his chair and continued staring at the screen as his friends talked about their families and argued over which dog breed is the best.

The file was part of a book he was currently working on, and he was experiencing major writer’s block. He had been thinking for weeks, but could not seem to find any inspiration.

_‘Come on Eren, all you need is to figure out how Jason will get to hell with Frank and how they’ll meet Satan… and save the world from hellbeasts… and save Frank’s little sister… Come on, think…’_

Eren let out a frustrated sigh and covered his eyes. _‘Think, dammit…’_

The bell on the door of the cafe rung and a deep, familiar voice called out, “Armin!”

Eren uncovered his eyes and turned around to see who he heard.

“Erwin!” Armin said, smiling. Erwin was Armin’s good friend in highschool. He was very neat looking, with blond hair and blue eyes. He had broad shoulders and a strong structure. Eren knew him because not only did he help them both with homework and studying, but he was total bully repellent. When he graduated, Eren decided to fill his spot and kept bullies away from Armin.

“Woah, hey Erwin!” Eren got up and gave Erwin knuckles after Armin hugged him. Erwin chuckled and brought Eren into a hug.

“We haven’t seen each other in forever, Eren, and all I get is knuckles?” They both laughed and Armin smiled even wider.

“Oh, guys I have someone to introduce you to. We didn’t go to school with him, but I’ve known him for a very long time,” Erwin stepped to the side to reveal a short man who had been perfectly concealed by Erwin’s strong build. “Meet Levi!”

 _‘No. Way,’_ Eren thought.

Levi stood before him in a faux leather jacket, a white shirt that complimented his structure, and black jeans. Eren noticed the shorter's hands shake. His grey eyes glared into Eren’s until he recognized him and his expression softened. Eren looked into his eyes and his cheeks became a light shade of pink.

“Levi?” Armin asked. “I didn’t know you guys were friends!”


	5. Eren

“I take it you’ve already met?” Erwin asked Levi. He nodded and his expression turned stone. 

“This brat got himself locked out of his dorm. I helped him pick the lock,” Levi said, Eren glaring at him when he called him a brat. 

“Ah,” Erwin said. “Armin told me about that, I just didn’t know you were the handsome knight in shining armour.”

Levi’s expression didn’t falter.

An awkward silence fell over the group as Levi and Eren shot daggers at each other.

“Uhm, Erwin, Levi, what do you guys want? Drinks on me,” Armin said.

“I’ll take a water,” Levi said, finally breaking eye contact with Eren to look at Armin.

“Alright, Erwin?” Armin said, looking up at him.

“Actually, I’ll wait in line with you. We have a lot to catch up on.”

Armin’s cheeks seemed to flush a bit and he nodded furiously. “Okay!”

The two walked off and Levi and Eren were left alone. Levi continued glaring at Eren and Eren glared awkwardly at the floor, thinking of something to say.

“D-Do you hate me?” Eren asked, breaking the silence. “I mean, you never talk to me, and when you do you just call me a brat. Like, you’ve haven’t even gotten to know me, and you already act like you despise me.”

Levi thought a moment before answering.

“No. I don’t hate you. I’m like this to everyone. It’s nothing personal.”

Eren sighed aggravatedly and out of relief.

“Well great, that clears up everything. So you just go around calling everyone a brat?”

Levi’s glare struck fear into the pit of Eren’s stomach. He instantly regretted giving him sass.

“No,” Levi said, his voice low and dangerous. “I don’t going around calling everyone brats. I only call brats brats, got it?”

Eren looked away, his eyebrows scrunched defensively.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. Why is he apologizing? Levi didn’t deserve an apology. It almost seemed to slip from his mouth without him even thinking about it.

“Whatever, Brat,” Levi said, his glare lifting off of Eren.

“Well, if you want you can come sit with us, I guess,” Eren said, turning to see all his friends laughing and talking to each other while sipping on their drinks.

“Whatever.”

“Is that your only response to anything?!” Eren didn’t know why, but he was getting slightly irritated with Levi’s inability to show interest in anything.

Levi glared again.

“Listen kid - you get on my nerves. You better watch it. Annoying brats like you don’t survive too long in a college like this. You’ll be eaten alive if you don’t get your fucking act together.”

Eren glared back. He was about to say ‘whatever’ but caught himself in the process. 

“Are you going to sit with us or not?” Eren said, his voice curt.

“Where else do you expect me to sit, dumbass?”

Eren bit his tongue to keep from letting aggravated insults tumble out of his mouth. He just turned and led the way to their table.

“Hey Eren’s friend!” Marco said as they approached the table. This enticed everyone to do the same.

“Who’s your friend?” Jean said lifting an eyebrow.

“This is Levi,” Eren said, sitting down next to Ymir.

“Finally got yourself a friend. Jeez, I thought for a while that Armin would have to keep spoon feeding them to you -” Ymir started saying, before shushed by Christa. Eren was beat red with his arms crossed. Levi remained unphased and seated himself across from Eren.

“Shut up Ymir, making friends is hard for awkward people. This is a friend of a friend. I’m sure you two will get along nicely - you both have horribly shitty personalities.”

Everyone ‘ooo’ed and ‘buuuurrrrnn’ed. Levi smirked and leaned back in his seat. Levi should’ve been hurt by the remark, but he was just glad Eren was as snarky as he was.

“Oh yeah, momma’s boy? You wanna play that game?” Ymir said, an evil smile spreading across her face. “If I’m so dull, why have I had more girlfriends than you?” 

Eren wasn’t even phased by the remark. He wanted to use this time to his advantage. It was a perfect opportunity to tell them.

‘Because I’m gay.’ 

The words formed in his head, but the thought of actually saying them was repulsive, especially with Levi around. 

“You don’t have to tell everyone all at one time,” Eren remembered his sister, Mikasa, telling him when he came out to her. “Baby steps.”

“Baby steps,” Eren whispered, folding and unfolding his fingers. Nobody seemed to notice how uncomfortable Eren seemed except Levi. Levi watched as Eren awkwardly paid too much attention to his fingers. 

As he was about to ask if Eren was okay, Armin and Erwin came back holding their drinks.

“Alright, Levi, I’ve got your water, and I also got you a bagel, because you didn’t eat this morning. No pressure, you don’t have to eat it, I just thought I’d bring it just in case,” Erwin said, setting down the water and bagel. Levi nodded as thanks and sipped his water. When Levi caught Eren’s eye, Eren began sipping his coffee self consciously.

Levi turned away and smiled. He liked being able to make the Brat flustered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about this being so late. found out i had to move about 3 weeks ago, so we had to pack furiously, and then moved out two weeks ago. i moved houses with a one week notice. pretty proud of myself. anyways, as always, point out any spelling mistakes, inconsistencies, or whatnot.
> 
> edit: hey so like state testing started a couple of weeks ago so my updating will be pretty inconsistent.


	6. Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING - CANCER - IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO NEWS INVOLVING CANCER, DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER

“I’m not going to eat this,” Levi said, pushing his bagel towards Erwin. Erwin sighed and nodded. 

“Alright. It was worth the shot,” Erwin said, taking a sip from his coffee. Levi looked away and took a drink of water.

Levi let his eyes wander before they fell on Eren, who was staring out the window. The natural lighting illuminated his eyes, making them glow their beautiful sea blue. His hair was a bit messy, little strands poking out of random places on his head, but suited him very well. His lips were parted slightly, drawing in Levi’s attention. Those lips…

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed a bit and he bit his bottom lip, making Levi’s face heat up. 

Levi turned when he heard someone clear their throat. He turned to see Erwin and Armin staring at him. 

“Hm?” Levi asked, trying to stay as casual as possible.

Armin giggled and Erwin smiled a bit.

“Nothing…” Erwin said before turning back to Armin, continuing their previous conversation. 

Levi shook his head and turned back to Eren, surprised to find that Eren was looking at him. The blood rushed to Eren’s face and he awkwardly fiddled with his fingers.

“So…” Eren said quietly, hoping to somehow break the awkward tension.

“Brat,” Levi said, making Eren’s eyes shoot up to meet his. “You should come with me, Erwin, and a few friends to a bar in town.”

“U-Umm,” Eren choked on his own spit, entering a coughing fit that made him even more awkward. “Sure, that sounds great!”

Levi nodded curtly and let his gaze drift out the window. 

For the first time Eren noticed a slight difference in Levi’s eyes. They seemed to glow a slight tint of blue in the sunlight.

***

Erwin slammed his keys on the small table next to his door, Levi following in behind him.

“Levi, you have to eat,” Erwin said, scratching his head. He breathed in and out slowly, trying to calm himself down, but the worry was overwhelming.

“I’m fine. Take care of yourself.”

“Levi, you’re not fine and you know it!”

“Erwin, I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.”

“Levi! You and I both heard what the doctors said! You’ve lost too much weight! You need to eat-”

“ERWIN.”

Erwin stopped talking and turned around to meet Levi’s gaze. Levi glared at Erwin and had his arms crossed over his chest.

“The doctor also said stress is not going to help my case, and this is stressful. So lay off of it. I’m going back to my dorm. If you need me, you know where I am.”

Levi turned and walked out of the door, quickly making his way across the street to the dorms for his college. 

I can’t help it, Levi thought, shaking his head. It’s not my fault. Weight loss and loss of appetite is unavoidable. I’m fine. I’m fine.

He quickly unlocked his door and shut it, leaning his back against the door. He rubbed his hands together and sighed before running his hands through his hair.

I’m fine.

I’m fine.

I’m fine.

He slipped off his shoes and laid down on his bed, breathing slowly, controlling his breathing like machinery.

In.

Out.

In.  
Out.

***

“Levi, you have… You have glioblastoma. It’s a malignant tumour in the brain. It’s incurable. It’s in an inoperable position, as you can see by the diagram…”

Levi sat in complete shock, staring at the scan of his brain. There was a noticeable circle, about the size of a small lime in his brain.

‘I’m going to die,’ was all he could think as he stared silently at the diagram, ignoring whatever the doctor was saying. 

He had gone to the doctor because he felt dizzy and was losing weight. He insisted on not going, but Erwin insisted, and wouldn’t leave him alone until he did.

Levi was not expecting this at all.

A year and a half.

Levi had about a year and a half before this tumour took everything he had.

That was nine months ago.

***

Levi opened his eyes and got back up slowly, deciding he needed to take a walk. To get his mind off things. Stressing about what could be wasn’t going to make dealing with it any easier.

He opened his dorm door and walked down the hall, the hallway illuminated by the sunlight at the end of the hallway. 

He yawned as he walked down the hall, his footsteps silently making their way down the hall.

Suddenly Levi stopped. He stood in the middle of the hall and stared blankly at the open door that was letting sunlight into the normally dark hallway. He turned around, confused and dazed.

‘What am I doing here?’

He turned all the way around before scratching his head and walking back to his dorm.

‘What the hell was I doing again? Come on Levi, you can remember… Try to remember…”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter gets pretty *steamy* ;)

Eren fiddled with his hair in the mirror as he tried to make it look decent enough to go out. He was going to a bar in town with Levi and his friends, so he needed to make sure he looked… not impressive, but also not too casual…

 

_ Parted on the left? No, that looks weird. Should I just keep it how it always is? What about my outfit? Is this too much? … Am I overthinking this? _

 

There was a knock on the door, making Eren jump, hitting his head on a lamp.

 

“Coming!”

 

He quickly ran to the door and dusted himself off before opening it. He smiled and then rolled his eyes when he was met with Jean and Marco.

 

“What do you want Jean?” He said after smiling politely at Marco.

 

“We were wondering if we could borrow your place,” Jean said, grimacing at an old banana peel on Eren’s desk. 

 

“What? Why?”

 

“Sorry Eren. Jean wanted to show me some tv show that’s really important to him, and got upset when there was a glare on the tv. We were wondering if maybe your tv would look better since the sun is on the other side of the building.” Marco mouthed  _ ‘sorry’  _ to Eren.

 

“Seriously Jean? You want to take over the only spot I have that you aren’t allowed to intrude into my life?”

 

“Yeah basically.”

 

“Only for a few hours,” Marco intruded, glaring at Jean who shrugged and returned to inspecting Eren’s desk.

 

“... Fine. But  _ only  _ a few hours, okay? I will notice if things are moved Jean, so don’t think about going through my stuff.”

 

“Okay,  _ fine.” _

 

“Marco, make sure he doesn’t go through my stuff.”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure your stuff is safe,” Marco replied, smiling his signature smile that makes everyone love him.

 

“Also, Armin isn’t here, and won’t be getting back til around seven. He went to some job interview. I’ll be back in about 3 hours, probably less. Make sure you don’t lock yourselves out, because I have no spare room keys. Any questions? No, okay good, see you later.”

 

He quickly left before Jean had the chance to ask his question. Being in his presence was always so stressful.  _ How can Marco handle it? _

 

He rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand, closing his eyes, when he heard someone clear their throat. Eren looked up to see Levi, who looked him up and down slowly, making Eren blush.

 

“Well, brat?”

 

“Well what?”

 

“Are we going to go, or what?”

 

“I was waiting for you!”

 

Levi rolled his eyes and turned on his heel, hoping Eren didn’t notice him checking him out. 

 

_ God, the brat looks cute.  _

 

“Come on, my car’s outside. You’re sitting shotgun - we’re picking someone up who’s very obnoxious when riding shotgun.”

 

“Okay,” Eren said, staring at Levi. His eyes traveled down the shorter man’s body and landed on his ass. When Eren realized he’d been staring there for an absurd amount of time, he quickly turned and looked at the wall.

 

When they exited the building and entered Levi’s car, he was surprised at how clean it was - it was an older car (Eren wasn’t sure what car, but it sure did look pretty), with sleek black paint. 

 

“Nice car,” Eren said as he got in. Levi didn’t respond and backed out of the parking space. They drove in silence, Eren watching the scenery pass by in a blur as Levi paid attention to the road.

 

Soon they arrived at a house in a trashy neighbourhood. The streets were empty and quiet. The only thing lining the sidewalks was trash. 

 

“Umm, who are we here to pick up exactly?”

 

“A friend,” Levi said, watching the door. 

 

A few seconds later the door opened ominously, and there was silence. Eren looked confusedly from Levi to the door. After what felt like a year of staring at the door, a bouncy redhead skipped out the front door and smiled at Levi. Levi just rolled his eyes and looked back at the street in front of him. 

 

“Hey Levi!” They said, climbing into the car. “Sorry, I didn’t notice you were here. Oooh, who’s this?” 

 

“His name is Eren. Close the door, moron, we’re going to be late.”

 

“Levi, moron is a rude word!”

 

“I could’ve used a much worse word. Just hurry up.”

 

Soon they were off and the strange person was blabbering on to Eren about their research or something. 

 

“See what I mean?” Levi said to Eren, not turning to look at him. 

 

“Oh, I forgot! My name’s Hange - Hange Zoë,” they said, holding out their hand for Eren to shake. 

 

“Eren Jaeger,” Eren said, shaking their hand. 

 

“So, how long have you and Levi been together?”

 

Eren choked on his spit and Levi hissed from the front seat, “We aren’t together, he’s a friend.”

 

“Ohhh,  _ a friend, _ ” Hange said winking at Eren. Eren tried to explain that that’s not how it was, but Levi parked the car. They were at the bar, and Levi was already getting out of the car. 

 

Hange and Eren got out too, following Levi inside. Inside was much better looking than the shabby outside - it looked like any typical bar. Nice, homey, a tense vibe. Like family reunions with homophobic aunts and uncles. 

 

“Eren,” Levi said leading them to a group of people. “You already met Hange and Erwin. This is Hannes, Thomas, Oruo, Petra, and Eld. Everyone, this is my friend Eren.”

 

Eren smiled politely at the group and waved, everyone saying a form of ‘hi’ except for Eld. 

 

“Eren, sit wherever you want. Drinks are on me,” Erwin said, smiling and patting Eren on the back. 

 

“Levi,” Eren whispered, looking around nervously. “I’m not twenty one.”

 

“Don’t worry, the bartender’s not the brightest. He won’t card you.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Eren said, sitting at the bar next to Levi. Hange sat on the other side of Eren and continued talking to him about their research at the lab they worked at. Eren listened intently, not noticing when a drink was set down in front of him. He drank the drinks as they came, eventually losing count of how many times the bartender refilled his cup. 

 

Eventually he was a giggling mess, talking to Hange about his friends. 

 

“Then there’s Jean and Marco, who are  _ obviously  _ fucking, but they won’t admit it -  _ hiccup _ \- and Christa and Ymir have been inseparable since, like, the beginning of time!”

 

“Your friends sound awesome,” Hange said, smiling as they sipped the beer in front of them. 

 

“They are,” Eren said, frowning and rubbing his head. “I love them all so much. They’re all so awesome. Keeping stuff from them is so difficult.”

 

“Woah, keeping stuff?”

 

“Yeah, they don’t know I’m gay,” he whispered the last part, erupting into a fit of giggles. “I know they’ll all accept me… I don’t know why I’m not telling them. They deserve to know, I guess I’m just scared they might leave, you know?”

 

Hange nodded and put their hand on Eren’s back. 

 

“I understand. It’s okay not to tell them, you know? You’ll tell them when you’re ready. Don’t rush yourself into telling them anything.”

 

“Thank you Hange - hiccup - you’re awesome. Can you-”

 

“Eren,” Levi said, interrupting their conversation. Eren turned to Levi who was smiling slightly and rubbing his eyes. “I’m gonna head back, okay? I’ll give you a ride home, unless you don’t wanna leave right now.”

 

“Oh, okay, I’ll go with you.”

 

“I’ll find a ride home,” Hange said, smiling. 

 

“Okay. Come on Eren, let’s go.”

 

Eren giggles and hopped off the barstool, following Levi to his car. The light was blinding - like when leaving the movie theatre, and you feel like you’re on another planet. Levi opened the door for Eren, Eren smiling and thanking him. 

 

The drive home was full of giggles and trying to guess the songs when their beats were just hummed. When they arrived at the dorms, Eren stayed in the car and stared at the building. 

 

“Eren,” Levi said, Eren turning to look at him. “I heard what you said. About being gay.”

 

Eren blushed and looked down. 

 

“O-Oh, you weren’t supposed to hear that-“

 

“No, it’s fine. I am too.”

 

Eren looked up at Levi and found his face inches apart from his own.

 

“I’ve always thought you were cute,” Levi whispered, looking down at Eren’s lips. 

 

_ Levi what the hell are you doing?  _ His own voice rang in his head. Sober Levi would never. 

 

“Kiss me,” Eren said, Levi closing the gap immediately after. Their lips fit together perfectly, moving in sync with each other. Levi snaked his tongue out, surprising Eren, but he opened his mouth slightly to let him in. Levi moved his tongue around the younger’s mouth, exploring the perfect mouth, belonging to the perfect boy. 

 

Levi parted their lips quickly, inhaling heavily. “Backseat,” he said, making Eren smile and open his door. They both quickly got into the back seat of the car, Levi undressing as soon as he got in the back. When he was in just boxers, Eren was still struggling to get his pants off. Levi smirked and rubbed over his half hard cock through his jeans, making Eren moan. Levi got on top of him and leaned into his ear while he rubbed over his jeans. 

 

“Mm, you like that?”

 

Eren whined in response, gasping as he rubbed harder. 

 

“What if someone sees us?”

 

“The windows are tinted. Besides, this isn’t uncommon. On the off chance that somebody sees us, they’ll probably just keep walking.”

 

Eren nodded and took off his pants and underwear and Levi took off his boxers. Eren blushed and stared at Levi who was looming over him. Eren ran his fingers over Levi’s slightly sculpted figure, his hands ending up on his chest. 

 

“Please fuck me,” Eren said, staring into Levi’s eyes. Levi smiled and kissed Eren again. 

 

“Suck,” Levi said, Eren obeying, and repositioning himself so he could suck Levi’s hard cock. He put his beautiful lips on the tip, slowly kissing up Levi’s length, making Levi gasp. 

 

“No teasing, Brat,” Levi said, grabbing Eren hair. Eren smiled and took Levi in his mouth and began bobbing his head on his length. Levi moaned, his hand tightening in Eren’s hair.

 

Levi had Eren stop and get on his back. Levi positioned himself at Eren’s hole, Eren’s legs in an odd position. Levi put the tip in, making Eren bite his lip. 

 

“Please,” Eren gasped. “Please Levi.”

 

“Please what?”

 

“Please, please put it in.”

 

“Say it, Brat.”

 

“Please Levi, please fuck me, please,” Eren whined, gasping as Levi pushed himself all the way in. Eren moaned with each thrust, wrapping his legs around Levi’s torso. 

 

“ _ Levi,” _ Eren moaned as Levi growled and leaned down to kiss Eren. 

 

“Brat, you feel so good,” Levi said, thrusting into him rhythmatically, moaning at Eren’s voice calling his name. 

 

Levi grabbed Eren’s length, making him moan louder. Levi thrusted into his prostate and helped Eren off, leaving him a moaning mess. 

 

_ “Levi,”  _ Eren said, his fingers digging into the car seat.  _ “Levi, god, yes, there!” _

 

Levi listened to graceful moans slip from Eren’s lips, bringing him closer to coming. 

 

“ _ Oh Levi, I’m coming,”  _ Eren gasped, one hand grabbing for the car door, the other grasping the seat. 

 

“ _ Eren _ ,” Levi moaned beautifully, releasing himself into Eren. 

 

Eren moaned and came next, come landing on his chest. Eren and Levi both panted, trying to catch their breath. 

 

“Hand me my shirt,” Eren said, Levi handing it to him. He wiped the mess off his chest and car seat, bunching up the shirt. They both got dressed and walked to Eren’s dorm, giggling and kissing the whole way. 

 

Eren opened his dorm door with his free hand and began kissing Levi more passionately, until he noticed Marco and Jean staring at him. Jean was on Marco’s lap backwards, as if they had just been kissing. The four stared at each other for a second before Marco broke the silence. 

 

“What happened to your shirt?”

 

Eren looked down to his hand where the bunched up shirt was, covered in white stains. Eren blushed and hid it behind his back. 

 

Jean started laughing. 

 

“No way!”

 

“Shut up Jean!”

 

“I can’t shut up! You’ve been pestering us this whole time, when the gay one was really you!”

 

“Jean, we were just having a heated makeout session, we’re all gay here.”

 

Jean blushed and quickly got off Marco’s lap. Marco in return blushed and grabbed a blanket to cover his obvious boner. 

 

“Guys, do you mind leaving? We were kinda… You know.”

 

“Well so were we until you barged in!” Jean said, glaring at Eren.

 

Eren scoffed. “It’s  _ my  _ dorm!”

 

“...True.”

 

There was a moment of awkward silence before Jean said, “You don’t tell anyone, we won’t tell anyone.”

 

“Deal,” Eren said quickly. “Now go do that in your own dorm. God, now I have to get the image of you guys making out on my bed out of my mind.”

 

Marco and Jean left, leaving Levi and Eren in the small dorm. 

 

“God, I am so drunk,” Eren said, giggling. Levi nodded as if to agree, and set his hand on Eren’s chest and looked up at him. 

 

“Now where were we?” He said, Eren smiling and closing the gap between them. Eren sat down, Levi sitting on his lap and wrapping his legs around his torso. 

 

“Mm,” Eren said, having to stop for a breath. He sighed and smiled. “You’re so perfect.”

 

“Perfect and drunk,” Levi mumbled, resting his head on Eren’s shoulder. Eren smiled and laid down, Levi’s head on his chest. Eren played with Levi’s hair, twisting some around his finger and running his hands through the soft black locks. Levi’s breaths slowly became heavier until he was asleep, Eren falling asleep soon after.

 

***

 

Eren woke up to his phone ringing and a pounding headache. 

 

_ God, what did I do at the bar?  _ he thought as he grabbed his phone, and looked at the screen. Armin was calling. He answered and held the phone to his ear. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“ _ Eren, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for like twenty minutes now! Are you okay?” _

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

 

_ “Someone told me they heard you yelling in the parking lot.” _

 

Eren paled as the memories of the afternoon flooded back to his memory. He turned and saw Levi, sleeping soundly next to him. 

 

_ “Eren?” _

 

“Yeah, sorry Armin. I’m fine. They must’ve heard someone else. Hey, can I call you back?”

 

_ “Sure. I’m going to be home in about an hour. Need anything from the store?” _

 

“No, I’m fine, bye!”

 

Eren hung up before he heard a response. 

 

_ What the hell was drunk me thinking? _

 

He put his head in his hands as he remembered Jean and Marco. He wasn’t worried about them spilling the beans, he was just mentally scarred. 

 

Levi stirred and opened his eyes, looking around. 

 

“What the hell?” He said, sitting up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to point out mistakes. i'll try to correct them as soon as possible.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work so don't judge me. leave comments on what you think. should i continue? don't hesitate to point out spelling mistakes or grammatical errors, i appreciate it.


End file.
